The Father’s heart and Sex
It happened a few months ago.
I was exhausted. I had had quite a few rough nights with the girls. I couldn’t wait to sleep, even if it was just for a couple hours. But my husband wasn’t tired yet, he kissed my shoulder, then my lips. A feeling of dread and disgust came over me. I kissed him back and tried to push my feelings away, but the more I tried the more frustrated I felt. Lies filled my head. “All he wants you for is sex.” and “He doesn’t care about you.”
Resentment came over me.
{To clarify, Merv and I have an amazing marriage and a wonderful relationship. I am so, so grateful for my man!
Merv is incredible and would never make me do anything that I wouldn’t want to. But you see, I wasn’t communicating with him, I was trying to act like I was into this thing. Also, I believe that marriage and holy sex is under attack. Looking back at the situation, I see the agenda behind what was going on in my head.}
Finally, I admitted, “Honey, I just have a really, really hard time being physical when we haven’t connected emotionally beforehand, and I’m so so tired!” I was almost in tears.
“It’s ok, honey, I understand.” He kissed my forehead, rolled over, and konked out. (How do men do that?!!)
I, on the other hand, had way too much on my mind to fall asleep.
Guilt washed over me, and the lies started up again. “You’re a horrible wife.” "And mom.” “You can’t even do what you were made to do.”
“God I’m so so sorry! I never did this in our first year of marriage. I’m so sorry! I know I’m supposed to fulfill his desires.” tears rolled down my face.
The answer came quickly and quietly, it interrupted me in my condemnation. “Ash, that would’ve been a twisted version of what I created sex to be.”
“Huh?”
Intimacy between a man and a women in marriage is NOT fulfilling ones fleshly desires. It’s not giving a man or woman what he\she needs so he doesn’t lust after others! Of course not! How shallow is that?! We got THOSE desires from Adam. Not from God!
Wait what?! Didn’t God create men that way? Wasn’t a woman created because, “It’s not good that a man’s alone?”
Both men AND women were created in the image of God. Both are unique and reflect who God is in a powerful way. When a man and a woman come together in a pure, undefiled way, free of self, the glory of God is manifested.
Sex is an overflow of love. An act of love and passion that even words themselves cannot express. The supernatural act of uniting into one. It’s the deepest form of intimacy. It’s a place where the glory of God can manifest in the form of conception. The miracle of a brand new LIFE.
“Be fruitful and multiply” does not simply mean have sex and make babies.
It means be unified in such a way that the glory of God is poured out and it will fill the WHOLE earth from generation to generation. WOW!
My, how we have twisted this thing! This holy, incredible miracle gifted to us by God himself.
I’m not just talking about Hollywood twisted.
I mean even in our marriages we have twisted what sex was created to be, and made it all about ME, and fulfilling MY desires, and orgasim, and making it feel good.
Don’t just take it from me.
Don’t just feel inspired by this blog and move on. Really seek the Father on this topic. Get alone with Jesus and ask him about sex, love, intimacy. Let Him do the talking. Learn from Him. Let Him transform you by changing the way you think!
I wish you guys a wonderful weekend!
Love,
Ash